My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
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