Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
