Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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