hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
