I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
