I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
