i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
