I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize