Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
