I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
