I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I cannot find my penis.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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