i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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