addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
