Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize