so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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