I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Boobs speak an international language.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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