dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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