based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
