One girl and one boy is just not enough.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
