I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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