and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
