I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I look better un-naked...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
