Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you inspire me to be a worse person
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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