Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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