i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
