He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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