That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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