hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The air was thick with penises
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize