hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
