You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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