i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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