I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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