Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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