God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
How external is "for external use only"?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
