They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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