In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize