Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
