Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
