Kiss
Puke
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
