Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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