so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize