I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
