I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
