then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize