We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just want nice things and good sex
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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