Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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