Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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