I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she pinky promised me she was 18
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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