She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
