First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
