As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
