We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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