he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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