If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Randomize
