he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The uberlube is also flammable
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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