Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We had sex on a dog bed..
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
