i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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