just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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