I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
