Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
