she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
