I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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