This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
