pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
