You can't motorboat a personality
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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