I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
