Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
These tits shall not be calmed
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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