You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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