I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize